Tuesday, August 31, 2010
British "Humour" Mini-reviews
Friday, May 07, 2010
The "Charade"
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The New Paranormal Romance Hero-Creature
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Kiera Knightley Snark-Tweetfest immortalized
The Kiera Knightley "Pride & Prejudice is on". Her stupid teeth/ lack of boobs ruin every hot Matthew MacFayden scene. unfeminist, but true.
what I meant by that is that her poor acting skills and girlish demeanor ill befit the character of Lizzy Bennet
eaton @fellowette Don't JUDGE me, Lizzy! Don't you dare JUDGE me!
@eaton Oh, Charlotte, let me make amends by anachronistically grinning and giggling, thereby showing you my white shiny movie star teeth! in reply to eaton
stephaniesays @fellowette I never thought she had the "bright eyes," imo.
stephaniesays I know. It's too bad because I actually like Kiera and think she's gorgeous. She's just all kinds of wrong for the role. in reply to stephaniesays
kafkatronic @fellowette And then there's the bad wig, with her real (short) hair always poking out from under it in the back.
janeaustenworld @fellowette Agreed. She was an inept Lizzie.
susanchamplin@fellowette Can't stand Keira Knightley (incl stupid teeth/lack of boobs), so please: HAVE AT IT!
oh now here's the scene where mr./mrs. bennet snuggle in bed and joke CAUSE THEY REALLY HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE just as jane austen intended
and now Lady Catherine is showing up in the middle of the night! cause that makes lots of sense.
(no hate to Judi Dench intended, I worship you, dame Judi)
and now the movie turns into Jane Eyre. Having left the bigamist rochester, lizzy bennet wanders the misty moors in her nightclothes
only to espy a Gentleman shrouded by fog striding towards her! IS IT HE???????
And he tells her "Lizzy. I killed Rebecca. I HATED her!" and all is well
is it me or does Matthew MacFayden walk the equivalent of thousands of miles just by constantly, anxiously pacing throughout this film?
Oh god. here comes "mrs darcy, mrs darcy mrs darcy" and the hairy calves/swimming pool ending.
teresareads Amen. RT @janeaustenworld @fellowette Absolutely HORRID American ending to P&P 2005. Mrs. Darcy. Mrs. Darcy. Mrs. Darcy. UGGH.
Last snark re: movie. Pemberley's supposed to be like Lizzy: natural, simple, unadorned. This pemberley is like MTV cribs: regency edition.
@teresareads @janeaustensworld @writemeg @kafkatronic @susanchamplin @eaton and @stephaniesays as well! thks 4 joining P&P live-snark. I <3 style="font-style: italic;">
THE END (thus saith the goddess divine on tuesdays, something else some other days, and of course Mrs. Darcy Mrs Darcy Mrs Darcy when she is in-can-descently happy!)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Bronte-LOLs
Click through if you're a fan of the Yorkshire-bred literary family.
h/t to my google reader peepz.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Little Dorrit, Episode 3 (Guest Blog)
Installation 3 of Dickens’ workaholic machine made into a movie! I was pretty stoked from last week’s preview of this episode. Fortunes would be restored! People would get new clothes! The handsome Mr. Clennam would smile some more! Perhaps Fanny Dorrit would lose the makeup!
But alas, Installation 3 reminded me very much of my friend’s waitressing shift today. “Everyone was crabby and mean and nobody tipped well,” she reported after escaping from Red Lobster hell.
And speaking of hell, what’s with Monsieur Rigaud? (I can’t keep track of his new incognito name in this episode.) I might have taken French all through high school but when he speaks, I just strain. (“Huh?” Rewind. “Oh.”)
But moving on to the real hell… Dear Dad Dorrit got his earthly reward for suffering through debtor’s prison: money, a house and Mrs. General. He’s continuing on in a sort of King Lear stupidity (before the madness set in), dragging all assorted baggage with him which includes children, brother and Mrs. G. Last week’s ominous scene of Dad Dorrit being to afraid to stroll out of debtor’s prison when the chance was offered hinted at so much badness. He does his bad well in this episode, being generally insufferable and pompous (but more on that later).
And to counter him is his daughter. Though Amy is portrayed as our heroine, a woman without a speck of wrong in her heart, I have some major doubts about her. Andrew Davies claims he toned down the goodness of Dickens’ Victorian Amy and no doubt he did. Our post-deconstructionist ears and eyes could hardly bear it if he had not. Still, though…despite taking in account that Amy is a product of her times, I have serious doubts on Little Dorrit.
This came to light quite early in the episode. Dad casts Clennam out -- the man who went to some lengths to restore him -- and throws the most painful rant about paying him the measly 20 something pounds Clennam gave to him in the past. Clennam doesn’t want it but Dad insists on payment and receipt. Which is all so ludicrous in the face of the thousand pounds owed to Mr. Pancks for the work he did to discover the Dorrit fortune. Pancks will never see the light of that from Dad Dorrit, and Clennam will undoubtedly pay, but we’ll see less smiles from Matthew MacFayden because of it. You suck, Dad.
But yes, anyway. To continue, Clennam leaves rather insulted by Dad and Amy rushes off to try and make amends. And what happens?
“Stay here, Amy. Are you going to do as I say?”
“I will, Father, but it is hard.”
Oh Amy, how wonderful you are. You obey your narcissist father and you also throw the button away of a man you love when you think you can’t have him (cue Harriet Smith). You meet self-sacrifice with a few tears but mostly smiles.
No doubt about it, Amy is all about the duty. But this tears at me because the Victorians were all about duty and they fully embraced the frightening self-abnegation of it all.
Dickens, duty and women bring us to someone else who was on the screen a few years ago: Bleak House’s Esther Summerson. Esther’s a good girl too, and she does her duty as well. She too is surrounded by circumstances beyond her control; circumstances that control her situation in life fully. And while Esther submits with grace, she does so without seeming weak. There’s something strong in Esther and one gets the idea that despite her difficult circumstances, she deliberately thinks out her choices and resolves to do whatever she thinks as best, no matter how hard that choice is.
Amy, however…she’ll do her duty because she’s the good character. I never believe that Amy is weighing her choices; she just does the seemingly-good over and over to the point of mindlessness. Yes, father, I will obey you because I must honor you as I always honor you. I am your favorite because I rarely, if ever, cross you and always comfort you after your raging monologues that only serve to reveal your insufferable pride.
Amy Dorrit: Daughter who honors her father, or the enabler of an arrogant old man? Or are these really just the same things, one being an euphemism... As you can see, I’m full of a doubts about Little Dorrit.
With Miss Wade however, there aren’t doubts, just mysteries. She may just be the balance to Amy’s automaton “good girl” behavior. Is she a Victorian Feminist Fury or merely someone bent on making Mr. Meagles red in the face? If she gets Mr. Gowan shived in the gut by Rigaud, I may love her forever.
Finally, yes there are new dresses (thank God). And no, Fanny Dorrit doesn’t lose the makeup. Le sigh.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Celebrity Poets: The Good, The Bad and the Painfully Maudlin
After you've looked at the slideshow, let us know which you think were the best and worst. I'd have to say Viggo Mortenson (whose publishing endeavors we've discussed before) was definitely the best, while so many of the others were made of FAIL that I couldn't choose.
Seriously, this is a link worth clicking. It's LOLworthy.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Everything I wanted To Know About "Twilight"
On a related note, is there any other phenomenon like the huge number of people (myself included) who have devoured every page of the Twilight saga but scorn its author and everything she stands for?
Monday, March 23, 2009
LOTR vs. Ayn Rand
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
Via Lawyers, Guns & Money via OJ.
I think that says it all quite nicely, don't you?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Shakespeare and Joyce Predated Britney
Via Slate, an examination of the deep-rooted literary tradition that prefigures "If You Seek Amy," Britney Spears' controversial new song that, when its title is spoken aloud, spells out an entirely different meaning.
Any Twelfth Night reference is guaranteed to win me over. Yellow stockings!
The Irish literary god does in fact appear to be the first person to have used this phrase; in Ulysses, Joyce included a bit of doggerel sung by the Prison Gate Girls:If you see kay
Tell him he may
See you in tea
Tell him from me.In the third line, Joyce manages to encode cunt as well. Take that, Britney!
Joyce isn't, however, the only great writer to encode dirty words in his work. Hundreds of years earlier, none other than English literary god William Shakespeare used a similar trick. In Twelfth Night, Olivia's butler Malvolio receives a letter written by Maria but in Olivia's handwriting; analyzing the script, Malvolio says, "By my life this is my lady's hand. These be her very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her great P's." With the and sounding like N, Shakespeare not only spells out cunt, but gets pee in there as well.
And he didn't need a news anchor, or even a town crier, to explain it.
But seriously, it's always good to point out that "high" literature is, in fact, not that high, that Shakespeare wrote for the pit as well as the balcony and that Joyce was banned as pornographic, and that above all, Britney Spears is a golden leaf on a tall, verdant and flowering literary tree.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Love of Tragedy = Funny?
These four titles offer stories of family, motherhood, tragedy and emotional pain.
Ahh, emotional pain. You know, there's nothing like tragedy AND the ensuing emotional pain to get us women running to the bookstores, credit cards in hand (funny cause it's true--not just for women, either).
This also reminded me of being in a UK bookstore two summers ago (Scotland) and seeing an entire section devoted to "Tragic Life Stories. " I snapped a picture because I thought, hey, they're being so honest about what makes people tick. Here it is:
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Dickens-Mania begins
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Pride and Prejudice Marvel Comic
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Lizzy's Smackdowns: The Final Results
79 (43%)
TO LADY CATHERINE: ``If you believed it impossible to be true, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far.
44 (24%)
TO LYDIA: `I thank you for my share of the favour, but I do not particularly like your way of getting husbands.''
29 (16%)
TO LADY CATHERINE: ``That will make your ladyship's situation at present more pitiable; but it will have no effect on me.''
24 (13%)
TO COLLINS: 'You are too hasty, Sir. You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without farther loss of time... I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them.
4 (2%)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Snark? I'll show you snark.
So illustrious New Yorker scribe David Denby has written a book on snark. I believe that within its pages, he complains about the intertubes making snark into an epidemic. Now no offense to the book or its author, but I thought this timely item was a great segue to pimping my featured poll on Lizzy Bennet's greatest verbal smackdowns. Please vote, if you haven't! Because if Lizzy wasn't a mistress of snark centuries before the term was coined, I'll eat my bonnet.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
More Masterpiece Madness: Lizzy's Zings edition.
As those of you not reading via RSS readers might have already noted, I added a poll on the top of the site asking you to choose your absolute favorite Lizzy Bennet verbal smackdown. I will leave it up there for a while and then at some point, relegate it off to the side once enough votes have been cast. [NB there's something slow with the formatting that makes the space below the poll seem giant at first, but fear not, readers, once the site loads it appears to go away. Thx, blogger!]
And feel free to add in your write-in nominations in the comments section. Lizzy had many moments of sharp repartee that cannot be captured in a pithy poll.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
And now, for something completely different...
So many poetic devices... truly evocative similes and metaphor, deceptively simple meter, unexpected rhyme scheme... a truly dazzling literary coup.Ode to Sean Hannity
by John CleeseAping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
LOTR Remixes
This is a project whose seed was sown on a dark, dark, August night, when Sarah Palin gave her Sauron-esque acceptance speech and I was all like "I'm craving some good defeating evil right now." But since I'm on deadline, and it's rainy, I thought I'd give you some silliness and cheesy, ridiculous, internetz lols instead. Here are two LOTR viral remixes; be warned, they're catchier than you think...
(see mashedtaters.net for more of this one)




